Resilience

Willow's second litter, 4 girls and 3 boys arrived on the 4th of August and although they have had a tough start- we are getting there and things are looking up. 

This blog feels like a diary and getting things written down sometimes helps me to get my head around events. I have decided to go through as much as I can without writing an essay, I suppose to show how much my dogs mean to me and to highlight the importance of knowledge around dogs, health and the determination to get them through tough times. I have gone over and over the events leading up to the puppies arrival, wondering whether I acted in the right way at the right time and I believe I did what was necessary for Willow. 

31st of July

Willow was well in herself but I felt she was trying to tell me something. She had 6 meals that day and she spent half of it in the whelping box. I found her looking into my eyes and staring at me.. a lot. I couldn't figure it out what she was saying but I re-sterilised all of my whelping equipment in case she had them early (just in case that is what she was saying).

1st of August

Willow started vomiting early morning and she vomited a lot. At first I thought her body was emptying itself in preparation for labour. I stayed with her all day but when she just didn't seem right, not what I expected from a mother dog ready to give birth, I took her to the vets. The vet did all necessary checks and I went through every symptom including that 2 of my other dogs had been sick- possible stomach bug? They were able to eat and recovered quickly but Willow is heavily pregnant and her body was struggling with whatever was going on. The vet initially assumed labour like me but went through everything and said Willow is slightly dehydrated and told me to give her Oralade (I always have some at home for my females to help them recover so I didn't need to buy any from the vet) and we also got some pain relief to help ease the gut bruising from vomiting. I did have the option to admit Willow to the vets to be on an IV drip but we agreed she wasn't yet at this point and Willow got stressed when I wasn't close by. 

2nd of August

I stayed with Willow all night and all day. She does not like Oralade so I syringed small amounts regularly down her throat to get her hydration levels up and to provide essential nutrients. She managed to keep it down and toileted so I felt like I was getting somewhere. She even perked up and laid in comfortable positions. I tried small amounts of food and she vomited twice that day. 

3rd of August

Willow started to go downhill. I never want to see a dog so weak ever again... and she went downhill fast. Emergency rush to the vets. The vet was lovely and did all necessary checks- he was confused as me. There wasn't anything obviously wrong but clearly she needed to be on a drip have have blood tests to pinpoint what was going on. It was reassuring to hear how impressed the vet was when he saw her shaved belly (because I told him I regularly scan to keep an eye on everything) and I spoke more about my breeding programme. He asked if I could help get a catheter in Willow's front leg because I looked like I knew what I was doing (I know it is something small but for my emotional state, the fear of losing my girl- this helped me a little). I tried not to get upset because Willow needed me but gosh it was hard. The vet promised me he would get her better and would look after her well- I needed to hear that. I was going to say please look after her but I couldn't talk through the tears and tension in my throat. 

We took half of the pack to an enclosed woodland to not forget about Willow but to stop worrying as much.. you cannot beat getting outside in nature and seeing your dogs run, play, explore and just be themselves. We met up with family with their pugs and Evie. I tried not to check my phone as the ringtone was set to loud but I kept checking it. I even restarted it thinking maybe my phone had glitched and the vet might have tried to call. 

Bella the pug was super excited and actually charged at me and knocked me back... she gets crazy excited when we visit.

Evie is the same size as her mum! She was in doggy heaven running around and digging. 

I took more photos but I couldn't bring myself to go through more and I haven't had the chance to edit them since. 

We called the vets for an update when we got home. We were too worried but surely no news is good news? Willow was the same but relaxing whilst being on a drip. Blood tests revealed slightly low calcium and salt levels so the vets adjusted the IV to accommodate the salt levels. They also put her on antibiotics. The puppies heart rates were checked via ultrasound and they were great- they weren't in distress. They said to keep our phones on and nearby overnight in case they needed to contact us.

4th of August

Woke up to no notifications on my phone- blissfully unaware for a short while. It turns out the vets had tried to call Chris rather then my number.. called them straight back to find out Willow had had 4 puppies and was still in labour but having a rest. My heart sunk and I couldn't stop the tears. My girl did it on her own in a new place whilst being unwell. I wasn't there to support her and I had missed the birth of some of our puppies. I have never missed a birth before so this lays heavy on my conscience BUT Willow was where she needed to be and my puppies were in the best place if an emergency arose. I started getting ready and checking my whelping box etc. Another call from the vets- 2 more puppies and they don't know if that is it. They went through my options for Willow and the pups.. Willow still wasn't eating, isn't well but the vets clinic is busy and not an ideal place for a mum and new puppies. They knew who I was as they have met my previous litters and seen the hard work that goes into them so they said they wouldn't normally allow a poorly new mum and babies to go home but I could as she was in good hands. Honestly I was doubting myself.. I hadn't slept well for a few nights now, my emotions were high as I feared I would lose my girl and she still wasn't well. In no time at all, I had a crate prepared for mum and babies for the car and a warm box (heater inside) to safely transport puppies from the vets to the car. I got my girl and her babies.. they were tiny. I had to photograph the vets paperwork for my records (I like my records to be detailed). Upon getting home and getting them settled, Willow started having contractions and Flurry, our surprise number 7 arrived. I know it is 1 puppy out of 7 but being there for at least 1 to welcome them into the world means a lot to me. The vet said if Willow doesn't start eating then she has to go back in to be admitted. My girls never feel like eating until they have had a good rest after birth. I syringed Oralade down Willow's throat and put high calorific food on the back of her tongue ( I ended up doing this regularly for 3 days and nights). 

The next few days were awful. Exhausting. Emotionally draining. Puppies lost weight and Willow didn't want to eat on her own. I started bottle feeding every 2 hours.. day and night for all 7 puppies. I got their weights stable and then small weight gains. I didn't take things day by day, more like hour by hour. I was in the whelping box with them all, 15mins break now and then when I could get someone to watch them (only when they were settled after a feed). 

I told myself if we get to 3 days, we have a good chance of survival, then 5 days and 7 days. 

I have burped puppies to get their wind up. Sat feeding kibble one by one at 3am (super tiring). Cried when Willow ate on her own. Held tiny puppies to teats to prevent them wasting energy from moving. Cried when puppies took to the bottle- we have a chance of surviving! Cried with relief at weight gains. I have never felt this much worry and normally I am excited about their futures. I held Willow's paw a lot as this is a comfort for her. 

The issue that triggered Willow's labour was the same that triggered my second son to be born early. He couldn't come home until he gained weight and all the issues I faced with him were felt during the last 2 weeks. My worry has been that whilst my son had a team of qualified doctors and nurses.. Willow and the puppies had me. I didn't know if I could b enough for them but I will always try my best. I never want to lose a puppy.

We are at 2 weeks and I cannot say how much of an achievement this feels like. They are gaining weight, getting stronger every day, most have their eyes open and early interactions can be seen. I do not know how I can let these puppies leave in 6 weeks time. The extra bonding and emotions mean that these babies feel like mine. My heart is going to be broken but I can say hand on heart, I did this. 

I have gone over everything in my head and my theory is that Willow knew she was in labour and needed to conserve her energy to push them all out. There were no outward signs of labour but she did it. 

People have mentioned about the cost of admitting Willow in to the vets during emergency hours- honestly I couldn't care about that. I can budget later. My girl needed that to survive and the vets helped her and to reassure me with the tests. You cannot put a cost to your dog when they need veterinary intervention. 

I cannot wait til next week when I can wean the puppies. It will take a lot of pressure off Willow and I can hopefully relax. I haven't slept well in over 2 weeks, even now it is an hour at a time. But Willow and the puppies come first. They are my responsibility and I will sleep when they are ok. Even when I try to sleep, my brain thinks I need to get up and check on them and sometimes I think I heard a puppy cry (anxiety can be frustrating). 

~ Claire 🐾