03Nov
Kody (was Fisco), left with his new family yesterday. It is the strangest feeling when the last puppy leaves. I walked back into the house and wondered what do I even do without a young puppy in the house. Over the previous 3 months, I have had to think about the puppies first, ensuring their needs are met before I do anything else.
Kody's family are the loveliest people I have ever met. They have a Raven puppy from me, so I knew Kody would have the best life. Kody's first evening went smoothly. His new dad told me how easy it was and it was like he had always been there. Kody had impressed me with his easygoing nature and I worked with him a lot over the last few months, more so in the last few weeks. He had managed remarkably well without his siblings and I had been careful not to integrate him into the pack. I am very pleased when I can see that I can make a huge positive difference by keeping a puppy for longer.
Fern leaving hit me hard. Harder than I thought possible. I nearly lost her in the first week and watching her grow, become one amazing little girl with the most incredible personality... she had my heart. I didn't know the extent of our bond until I cuddled her before she left. I felt silly for crying and also guilty because I wanted her new family to feel happy and not guilty for taking her. I am grateful for the updates because they help me heal. Fern slept for the 5 hour journey, ate when she got home, claimed a room to herself, slept in a crate overnight with no accidents and her family thanked me for a perfect puppy.
The last 3 months have been full of ups with some downs. There have been tough times with Willow being unwell, bottle feeding tiny puppies, 3 girls in season at the same time, random unexpected things that came up but the good times greatly outweigh those tough moments. Every job will have tough days. There have been moments when I seriously questioned whether I am the right kind of person to breed dogs and raise puppies. When I feel emotionally drained and haven't had much sleep, I question myself. I care deeply about every pack member, every puppy but I realise that makes me a good breeder. I put them first because I have decided they are to have puppies. I am responsible for everything and I will take on lessons learned from every litter and apply them to my future litters.
Raven had her 5th birthday last week, which meant a fun little photoshoot.
We took Kody with Willow, Eden and Enzo to a dog field for his last day with us. I planned to help build his confidence by being somewhere new with my smallest pack members. He had a great time exploring and preferred to stay close to me.
Astra
I would have said Astra has no idea how excited I am to meet her puppies but I feel she knows. She is the kind of dog that seems to look into your soul and she is sensitive to human emotions. She has had an easy pregnancy so far and is only showing subtle pregnancy symptoms. Her physical shape has only just started to change. I wish she knew how to tell me she is hungry so I am going by my previous girls as a guide and double-checking my notes as well as watching Astra's behaviour at mealtimes. As she seems to be hiding her pregnancy well, I have scanned her a little more often than I normally would. I clearly saw an upside down puppy, their heart beating, their skeleton developing, organ development, their cord and placenta as well as their mouth opening and closing. Seeing them like that makes me smile, a strong feeling of love in my chest and the excitement heightens.
I am a little nervous partly because of Willow and her labour but I know that no matter what happens, I will be there and my best can be good enough. Astra has never been unwell, has strong maternal instincts and she knows she can trust me.
I have bought a few extra whelping items just in case she has a bigger litter and I will build the whelping box next week. I can then disinfect and sterilise everything ready for the big day. I like to get prepared a little sooner to get the girls accustomed to the whelping box and just in case they go into labour earlier than expected.
Christmas will look different for us this year. Family will have to visit us and sadly there is a health issue with an extended family member which may mean our family is split up over Christmas. No matter what happens, I will be here with my puppies.
There will be a gap between Astra's litter and then our next one. During that time, I plan on writing version 2 of my puppy advice book. I have been slowly noting things that I want to add to my next one and I feel like I have learned more over the last year.
~ Claire 🐾
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